‘Pick Me’ Women Just Want To Be Chosen. So Why Are They Judged So Harshly?

It’s hard to ignore the fact that ‘pick me’ behaviour is largely viewed as a woman’s problem, and, via an online jury, faces ridicule and shame for behaviour that goes against what is believed to be feminist ideals. Some also conflate ‘pick me’ behaviour with submissiveness, bringing with it the reputation of a woman bending to her partner’s will without questioning it. As a TikToker shared in a now-viral video, “it’s not about the men, it’s about you.” Throughout her video, she says ‘pick me’ behaviour — such as talking too much, playing games, and acting aggressively — reeks of desperation. Oddly enough, while this particular brand of shaming is done under the guise of being informative, it comes across as ‘pick me’ behaviour as well — you know that famous Spiderman meme of all of them standing in a circle pointing at one another? 

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